Confession: Offended Much?

I won’t be speaking about what they did, to justify why I was offended,  just that I was, on a number of occasions (not going to admit how many), perhaps justifiably, perhaps not, offended by other members of the church. Hello, my name is Bianca and I have been offended. My quest to be less offended came suddenly, one day, when I realized that I can be rather offensive unintentionally and my compassion for the perpetually offensive grew by leaps and bounds. The truth is, I would never want to be responsible for someone leaving the church, becoming inactive or even questioning the Love the Savior has for them, because of something I did or said. I don’t think I could live with that kind of guilt.  And so when I think about that, I think about all the poor souls out there who may not know how offensive they really are and I put myself in their shoes and the best thing I can do for them is to not be offended, so that they don’t ever have to feel a moment of guilt. Because of this thought and through the help of a really good book called “Without Offense The Art of Giving and Receiving Criticism” by Dr. John L. Lund I have been offense free for over a year. Here is a list of  knowledge that I have gained along the way that has made it easier:
1. Don’t take myself so seriously. I’m ok with the fact that I’m not pefect yet, and so no one else has to be.
2. Everyone is entitled to a bad day.
3. First impressions can be wrong and never make an impression of someone based on someone elses impression of them. I think for myself.
4. I don’t read too much into things. I may be almost perfect but I can’t read minds so I’ve stopped trying.
5. My job isn’t to condemn, judge or fight but to love and sometimes that can be hard enough, so I just focus on the love part.
6. I have enough love for myself to know who my friends are and to stay away from those that make me feel less wonderful than I am and to set boundaries with those that I have to associate with.
7. Forgive before I get offended

Some things are bigger and meaner than the day to day offenses. For those I have gone to Heavenly Father for help. On one occassion, about 10 years ago, I had so much pent up anger and frustration built up for a family member who had hurt me deeply that I could barely think of anything else or do any good when I was around her at family events, One fast Sunday while at a family event, hardly thinking it would work, I fasted and I prayed about it and by the time church was over it was all gone, just like that….gone….and it never came back. We will never be close but I can be around her now without any bad feelings creeping up and I can focus on the loving feelings I so enjoy around family. For more information on how to forgive  follow this link. (The best article I’ve ever read on how to forgive) by Dave Ward. It will even help you to forgive me. (If ever I was offensive without my knowledge)