Photo Credit: Felt Hall at Brigham Young University, 2010 by GreenwoodKL
It was my Junior year at BYU when I first began trying to be like Molly. Molly Mormon is a fictional character, made up to make fun of pious Mormon women who put effort into making things beautiful, have a strong testimony of the gospel and of Jesus Christ, and who try to always choose the right. While it was never meant to be cool to be called “Molly Mormon,” that year fell in love with the idea.
I had been dating the most sought after bachelor in the Senior Dorm. He was good looking, just about to graduate and a return missionary (of course). I was very proud of myself because I had just had my 3rd highly successful date with him that weekend. I was no longer a Monday or Tuesday date I was an official weekend date. I was sure he would be proposing in no time. I was looking particularly beautiful that Sunday and felt that I could afford to look my competition straight in the eye for once. I wasn’t afraid at all. Then it happened, He got up and bore his testimony. I was thinking how handsome he looked, when he said, “I have been contemplating marriage this weekend and I went to the temple to ask Heavenly Father if this was the right girl for me. And I got my answer. As it turns out, she is just not the one.”
Of course I heard, “Heavenly Father doesn’t think she’s good enough for me.” I figured it had to do with me not being Mormon enough and I’ve been trying to be the perfect latter-day-saint ever since. In his defense, he was actually dating around 3-5 different girls at the time. So, He could have been talking about any one of us.
Still, the effect was the same. I tried desperately to fit my convert self in with with mainstream BYU, latter-day saint, co-eds. I just knew this was my ticket to finding true happiness and to finding the right guy. It’s funny how they all made things look so simple. I did what I thought Molly would do every day. I even traded in my stylish, borderline modest clothes in for clothing that was more modest and frilly. Try as I might though, I could never quite achieve the “Molly” look. I know we aren’t supposed to compare ourselves or our spirituality with others. But to be fair, I wasn’t comparing as much as I was seeing the good in the everyday LDS young woman. I looked for it and when I found something I liked I tried to acquire that skill, talent or spiritual gift.
Coming from a broken, convert family, it was uncomfortable to attend a Church University, when I didn’t know the hymns, basic gospel principles or all the scriptures very well. Having Molly, or what I envisioned Molly to be, was a big help and comfort to me – something, I could strive to be until I was more comfortable on my own.
There have been many real life representations of Molly in my life who have been an example to me – Women who have demonstrated true gospel principles and love for each other, Relief Society Presidents like Sister Hansen, who truly cared for me, and older ladies like Shirley Davis and June Hosier, who’s love for me and wisdom shared, literally changed how I saw myself. They have made all the difference. Now, all these years later, I feel I’ve become the LDS woman I’ve always dreamed of being. I have my very own testimony of Jesus Christ, the Book of Mormon, and the gospel of Jesus Christ. I’ve learned many hymns by heart and have taught the gospel in the auxiliaries of the church. It has become very simple to me: Love your God, Love your neighbor and LOVE yourself (or woe be unto your neighbor ;). It is just that easy.
Today, I still see Molly in every Latter-day-saint woman. Their example beckons me to follow, to better myself and to share my experience with you.
Here at ChasingMolly.com you will be privy to my journey of self discovery. I’ll share with you the tips and tricks I’ve learned that simplify the gospel and can help any woman, easily, be good at living it.
With all my love,
Bianca