I Might Be Shallow

So, lately when I look in the mirror….it just isn’t as fun as it use to be. There are wrinkles and blemishes and my face is slightly more round, and though I still clean up nice, I might be aging. Here is the truth, I’ve always been a geek. I hated the color of my hair and wished for beautiful blond locks, so I colored it. The first thing I did was put lemon in my hair to get highlights and then I just poured a whole bottle of “Sun In” all over  it, and sat in the sun until it worked.  I look back on those days and wish I had appreciated my own beauty, that when I had looked in the mirror all those years ago, I had seen the child of God, I am, and realized that He made my hair that color and that it actually did match my face. Because I’m sure He knew what He was doing when He made me. But still there are moments when no matter how hard your Mommy, daughter, husband tries to convince you, you still feel a little …..out of sorts. And lately, that is how I’ve been feeling. My name is Bianca and I’m aging, and I’m not liking it at all. Does that make me shallow? I never knew how much my looks meant to me. I mean the things I’ve done to my hair, and the things I wore to school! The things I thought were cute! Not that I ever thought what the pretty girls were wearing, and how they were doing their hair, wasn’t good for them. I just always had to take it up a notch or two or five. It would take me at least 2 hours to get ready to leave the house. And that was me. I’ve toned it down a lot, just in time to appreciate the real me, just the way I am. Today  I am a brunette, I have a couple of wrinkles that mark the fun I’ve had in life, and just as many blemishes that mark the lessons learned, my beauty is simple and refined. So, I’m a little older, and it is starting to show. I finally appreciate who I am, and how beautiful I have become, even if it isn’t the look I thought I wanted. It is the one thing in my life that no longer has to be over the top. Aaaah, finally, one less thing to work on.