Beating the “I love you ifs”

 I’ll love you if you go on a mission…I’ll love you if you you are beautiful..I’ll love you if you are thin, educated, easily manipulated, if you do it my way, if you agree with me, if you sing in the ward choir,  and on and on and on.
During this season, the “I love you ifs” people seem to really come out of the woodwork and to a perfectionist it can be our akiles heel. What do you do when there are millions of “I love you ifs”? Ok, here comes the list because I love lists and because I need to write one for myself.
1. Realize that Heavenly Father loves us unconditionally. We don’t have to be anything exceptional or brilliant or over the top. He just loves us. And the rules he gives us are for our own happiness, He doesn’t punish us or hate us when we do something that is against the rules, He just gets sad when the natural consequences set in. And if you’ve ever do make a wrong choice, and feel the pain of the consequences, He will still send comfort your way. Because He loves you like that…unconditionally.
2. If you are lucky enough to have friends or family who accept you just the way you are, treasure them, accept them, give back to them, and try to put them and their friendship before the “I’ll love you if’s”  because every perfectionist knows that they are extremely rare and hard to find. And hey, why not buy them the expensive gift for Christmas instead of the “I’ll love you ifs”
3. This one may seem a little silly but write a list of things you love about yourself, because the”I’ll love you if’s” all have different expectations. Some even conflict with others. So celebrate the holidays knowing what your expectations of yourself are and meet those. Otherwise you just get confused and exhausted trying to fulfill everyone else’s.
4. Give yourself a break. As a Molly want to be, you work on being the best you can all the time, you are constantly striving for something bigger and better, you are amazing, talented and beautiful. Bake something, or make a craft or get a thanksgiving game or tradition out of family fun magazine and take it with you, put your personal stamp on something beautiful this season, so when the “I’ll love you if’s” come around you can remember how grand you are.
5. Resolve to rest this season, relish in the unconditional love of the Savior, feel His hug, His gift. Quiet your anxious soul and meditate when you pray, try to hear His voice….I know He will have more to say to you then, “Ill love you if.” (Then write to me of course! And tell me what He says!!!)
The truth is just like Elle Woods, I wouldn’t be half the person I am today if it weren’t  for a true desire to beat the I love you if’s…but now that I’m practically perfect, I find that I just don’t need them anymore.