Confession: The Point.

Perfectionism is bad. But being a perfectionist about not being a perfectionist is worse. The truth is we all want to do the right thing, say the right thing, wear the right thing and be the right person. Unfortunately, that right is constantly changing. Especially, in a world where right is made out to be wrong and very wrong is made out to be the only right. It can not only get confusing but it can present anxiety where there could be faith. Here, at Chasingmolly.com, the purpose is to show the struggles with perfectionism, not to encourage it. The point is, perfectionism causes serious internal struggle. No one can be perfect. It simply, isn’t in our realm of possibility. All we can do is pick something and try to be a little better today than we were at that yesterday.

I’m a recovering perfectionist. Accepting myself and my weaknesses has been difficult. Chasingmolly.com has helped. Sharing my weaknesses with you, has eased my perfectionism quite a bit. Part of my recovery process is to allow myself to fail every once in a while, just to embrace and get comfortable with it. Since my biggest fear is not being perfect, allowing myself to fail and face that fear, truly becomes a comforting experience.

Here is an example. Sometimes, when I’m feeling a strong need to share the perfect idea in my calling as Relief Society activities committee member, I don’t actually say anything or give any ideas. I just support other people’s ideas instead. This is extremely difficult, especially when I really believe my ideas to be the perfect contribution to the meeting. It takes some concentration NOT to feed the perfectionist bear and instead just love and support another’s vision of what the event could look like. It feels good, even better to support someone else’s vision than to have them support mine.

Another part of my recovery process is to choose what I will try to be perfect at. If a person can not be perfect in this life, trying to be perfect at everything is slightly insane. So, in an effort to eliminate some of the insanity, I’ve taken to just trying to love more perfectly. That’s it. And that is enough. Love IS the commandment – the fix for every problem. Love is what makes activities and church itself more enjoyable to attend. Without love, the decorations, the theme, the colors and the activities are just a mute point. Jesus says that “Charity never faileth.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-13.

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not ^acharity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2 And though I have the gift of ^aprophecy, and understand all ^bmysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the ^apoor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

4 ^aCharity ^bsuffereth long, and is ^ckind; charity ^denvieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself ^aunseemly, ^bseeketh not her own, is not easily ^cprovoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in ^ainiquity, but rejoiceth in the ^btruth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 Charity never ^afaileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

It never fails…….I can’t fail, if I have Charity at all. God, who is love, makes even my small attempts at loving Him, others and even myself, perfect. My name is Bianca and I’m not perfect but I’m going to try to love more perfectly with God’s help. Always something to work on.