It was my Junior year at BYU when I first began ardently chasing Molly. Molly Mormon is a fictional character, made up to make fun of pious Mormon women who put effort into making things beautiful, have a strong testimony of the gospel and of Jesus Christ, and who always choose the right. While it was never meant to be cool to be called Molly Mormon, that year I fell in love with the idea.
I had been dating the most sought after bachelor in the Senior Dorm. He was good looking, just about to graduate and a return missionary (of course). I was very proud of myself because I had just had my 3rd highly successful date with him that weekend. I was no longer a Monday or Tuesday date I was an official weekend date. I was sure he would be proposing in no time. I was looking particularly beautiful that Sunday and felt that I could afford to give my competition a few side long glances. Then it happened, He got up and bore his testimony…(I was thinking “look at that girls, He will soon be mine”) when he said, “I have been contemplating marriage this weekend and I went to the temple to ask Heavenly Father if this was the right girl for me. And I got my answer. As it turns out, she is just not the one.”
Of course I heard, “Heavenly Father doesn’t think She’s right for me.” I figured it had to do with me not being Mormon enough and I’ve been trying to be the perfect Mormon girl ever since. I should say here in his defense, he was actually dating around 3-5 different girls at the time. He could have been talking about any one of us.
Still, the effect was the same. I tried desperately to fit my convert family self in with with mainstream, Mormon, BYU Co-eds. I just knew this was my ticket to finding true happiness and to finding the right guy. It’s funny how they all made things look so simple. I did what I thought Molly would do every day. I even traded in my stylish, borderline modest clothes in for clothing that was more modest and frilly. Try as I might though, I could never quite achieve the “Molly” look.
Coming from a broken convert family, it was uncomfortable to attend a Mormon University, when I didn’t know the hymns, basic gospel principles or all the scriptures very well. Having Molly, or what I envisioned Molly to be, was a big help and comfort to me – something, I could strive to be until I was more comfortable on my own.
It has been many years since I started this blog, and I am still not perfect. I have simply changed my priorities and the way I see the gospel. That is the beauty of comparing yourself to a fictional character. She can change with you. There have been many real life representations of Molly in my life who have been an example to me – Women who have demonstrated true gospel principles and love for their sisters in the gospel, Relief Society Presidents like Verna Hansen, who truly cared for me, Visiting teachers who where so inspired to help that God had a hand in it, older ladies like Shirley Davis and June Hosier, who’s love for me and wisdom shared, literally changed how I saw myself and a visiting teaching companion like Cheryl Hansen that showed me how to teach and love my sisters in the gospel. They have made all the difference. Now, all these years later, I feel I’ve become the Mormon I’ve always dreamed of being. I know by heart many hymns and even some primary songs, I’ve learned and taught my children to study the scriptures and after serving in the primary and as the gospel principles teacher I have come to be very confident and proficient at understanding the gospel of Jesus Christ. It has become very simple to me. Love your God, Love your neighbor and LOVE yourself (Or woe be unto your neighbor ;). It is just that easy.
Here at ChasingMolly.com you will be privy to my journey of Mormon self discovery. I’ll share with you the tips and tricks I’ve learned that simplify the gospel and can help any woman, easily, be great at living it.
With all my love,